Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
The capacity to feel true love and to build fulfilling relationships is limited when one experiences self-doubt, self-blame, and self-harm. The “barriers within” are the psychological wounds that need healing before one can seek love elsewhere. Childhood traumas and abuses along with losses, rejections, betrayals, abandonments, and break-downs get in the way of trust, security, and joyful connectedness.
In order to be efficient and productive in our care and support for others, every step of life requires our awareness and attention to our personal well-being. A person who does not place much value on “self” and imagines making selfless sacrifices as the showing of love for others will not be able to know what others’ needs are and how they may be fulfilled.
Self-love is the first step in loving. It is not selfish to respect and value yourself; it is foolish if you don’t.
-Wheel of Wellbeing