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How To Find Your Soul in a Soul-less Place

connect to your soul

By Lorraine Pursell

I have been crying since Saturday.  It’s been a long week, but a transformational one. I openly share my journey with you because I do not want you to feel alone or that something is wrong with you when you struggle. We think that there is something wrong with us if we find ourselves in a valley.  Be reminded that there are valleys there, and we all have them!

We must work hard to stay soulful. Tears and struggle remind us that we have a soul. Distractions abound. Finding our still small voice is a challenge and certainly not fashionable.  On this quest, you will likely be alone among your friends and colleagues –  it’s easier to buy gadgets, apps, play online games, surf Facebook, etc. Sometimes I feel that the World Wide Web sucks our souls from us when we log on and look into our screens. What about quiet time? How should we know who we are?

Transformation is sweet. It’s the sunshine at the top of the valley. When we have a breakthrough after faithfully traversing the valley of the shadow of death (because it feels like nothing short of that), only then can we see the bigger picture. “Oh, that’s what that was about.”  Television and computers distract us from this inner journey of personal growth, I am sorry to say.

How can we stay connected to our soul in a soulless environment? By unplugging. By turning off the technology.  By being alone with ourselves. By going within and asking how we feel right now. By honoring those feelings. By honoring ourselves and what is most important to us. By asking if this was my last month on earth, what would I want it to be about.

Yes, we are in the journey of the human experience in the 21st century. Can we stay connected to our souls and not combust? Can we take it straight  - without drugs and alcohol to numb our inner confusion and distress? Can we be honest with ourselves about who we are and what we really want? Because if not, we will be washed up onto shores of isolated islands, having lost true friendship with ourselves.

How do we find true friendship with ourselves? Well, first step, I think, is the quiet time. Can we carve out even 5 minutes in the am and pm to sit in silence, close our eyes and let distracting thoughts float through our minds without engaging them? I know I need help with this. It is the quest of the inner terrain- this is the final frontier. And the payoff is that you are your own best friend for life.

There also is the meditative walk. Take a walk in nature or even around your garden, noting the beauty and the beings, bugs, twigs, leaves, rocks, soil. Take it in and let it enrich your soul. Be still with it. And then there is gratitude. Make lists of what you appreciate about your loved ones, and even those you do not love but are a pain in your side. Document and profess their positive aspects.

And then there is you. Make a list of the things you love about you, I know this is one of the hardest exercises I give my clients because we are becoming a soulless society. Go ahead. Right now, write 5 things you love about you. It’s okay. You are not conceited by doing so, you are appreciating the gifts that are yours. As you love your self-appreciation, you will beam and glow, and THEN you will be a light unto the world.

Blessings on you, dear reader. We are in the journey together. We all take the same steps and it is all okay. Let it flow. Let’s stay in touch with our inner selves as we move through each valley into each transformation. It’s a beautiful thing to be human even though it hurts. Remember when it hurts, we are reminded that we have a soul, thank God. Smile at strangers and send love to others you do not know- they need it just like we do.


About Lorraine:

Once a clueless single mom, Lorraine vowed to be the best parent possible and underwent her own Parent Evolution. Her Master’s is in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling, she’s a board certified Educational Therapist, and since 1995 she’s guided and coached individuals, parents, couples and families into loving, life-long relationships through TV, radio, video, speaking, writing, and private practice. How to Raise Safe, Happy and Confident Kids is one of her signature programs. She is the  author of Affirmations for Kids and Parents CD and Book programs in 4 versions, a columnist for The Williston Herald, and has a weekly radio show, Mental Health Mondays. Lorraine is a featured author in an upcoming Morgan James Publishers, NY book available for sale Fall, 2014.

Subscribe to Uplift Your Inbox at You will get this article, Lorraine’s Parent Secrets and her weekly radio show. Lorraine is a Parent and Couples’ Mentor specializing in creating inner and outer harmony in families and individuals since 1995. Copyright 2006-2015 Lorraine Pursell.